That is the title for Doug Wilson’s most recent post as he continues to work his way through reviewing the Driscoll’s latest book, Real Marriage. A couple quotes to tempt you to read…

On his overall view of the book:

Let me begin by saying that it is a very fine book over all.

Before getting to the sections that call out for more discussion and some yeahbuts, let me mention first why this book is going to do a lot of good. I have been  counseling couples for 35 years or so, and am happy to report that the Driscolls lay a firm gospel foundation for marriage, they understand the centrality of love and respect for men and women respectively, they are ruthless with some of the central marriage busters (bitterness, porn, selfishness, etc), they do not allow the realities of past abuse to become an excuse for sin, and they are transparent about their own failings without falling into the TMI trap. All in all, very well done. As I was reading, I kept thinking of couples who would be helped by it.

But then, opening the way for concerns, this gem:

Ah, but that’s not why you are reading this, are you? There are several pages, and several sections of advice that are mistaken and unfortunate. And of course, this sort of thing is like finding a caterpillar in your salad. The fact that the overwhelming majority of the salad is still perfectly fine does not serve to allay your concerns. You still have words with the waiter.

I highly commend this commentary to you. It is an excellent example of measured criticism, while offering alternative ways of addressing the issues raised. Further, Wilson shows great skill in handling and gently applying the Scriptures to the topic at hand, as well as to those who raised the issue.

Over the course of almost eight years as an attender and then member at Bethlehem Baptist Church (and in all the years since), Pastor John Piper had a tremendous impact on my spiritual growth. And one of the very specific ways that he did so was in the area of, as he calls it, racial harmony.

I can remember how I first reacted to this term and concept. It seemed like a good idea. Of course we should care about race. Of course Jesus cares about race, and the nations, and equality, and diversity. Of course.

But then he went and got all personal about it. Started taking it from the vague notions of how the love of Jesus and the Gospel should apply to all people, and how I should personally be engaged in part of making that happen, and how our church should be expressing those realities. And then he started applying parts of the Bible as a defense of those positions. Texts that, frankly, didn’t seem to me to support such conclusions.

And that made me upset. No, that isn’t true. It actually made me kind of angry. “How dare he,” thought I. “Isn’t this a careful Bible expositor? Who does he think he is? How can he possibly make the claims he is making?”

It took years - regrettably - for some of the things he boldly and courageously proclaimed to sink in. Years at the church, under his teaching. Years since leaving processing them. And certainly to this day, still thinking them through, and trying to come to grip with those arguments, and more importantly, the Scriptures, and to bring my life in alignment.

The time I have spent this week with Pastor John’s new book on this subject of racial harmony, Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and The Christian, has been enlightening, challenging, moving, convicting, provoking, and encouraging. It could serve to bless the church and our culture in numerous, deep, and lasting ways. And I pray it will do so in my life, my family, my church, and my community in the days and years to come. As a matter of fact, it will be a big part of how I preach on this topic over the next two weeks for our church family.

Just one of the many things he addresses is how the power of the Gospel severs the root of racial strife. And one of the areas he presses into in this regard is racial strife and inferiority, using a quote by Shelby Steele to get us thinking:

The condition of being black in America means that one will likely endure more wounds to one’s self-esteem than others and that the capacity for self-doubt born of these wounds will be compounded and expanded by the black race’s reputation of inferiority…

Black skin has more dehumanizing stereotypes associated with it than any other skin color in America, if not the world. When a black person presents himself in an integrated situation, he knows that his skin alone may bring these stereotypes to life in the mind of those he meets and that he, as an individual, may be diminished by his race before he has a chance to reveal a single aspect of his personality…He will be vulnerable to the entire realm of his self-doubt before a single word is spoken…

Certainly in every self-avowed white racist, whether businessman or member of the Klan, there is a huge realm of self-contempt and doubt that hides behind the mythology of white skin. The mere need to pursue self-esteem through skin color suggests there is no faith that it can be pursued any other way. But if skin color offers whites a certain false esteem and impunity, it offers blacks vulnerability.

This vulnerability begins for blacks with the recognition that we belong, quite simply, to the most despised race in the human community of races. To be a member of such a group in a society where all others gain an impunity by merely standing in relation to us is to live with a relentless openness to diminishment and shame.

(emphasis and paragraphing mine)

I have read this quote numerous times over the last few days, and everytime it takes my breath away. It causes a great sadness to wash over me. And the question that has been reverberating through my heart and mind is this - if this is true, and I have every reason to believe that it is, what will I do about it?

Let me be more specific - there are people in this community, in my church, in our churches, black brothers and sisters, who feel this way. Who live with this cloud of inferiority and self-doubt clouding what could otherwise be a sun-filled sky of joy. Will I move toward them? Will I move toward them in love? Will I try to enter into a relationship with them? Further, how will I?

Pastor John helps us:

It is not even possible to describe the hope-filled relational dynamics that may happen when the gospel explodes in two hearts that bring such radically different experiences of sin and suffering to the relationship. (emphasis mine)

Beloved, it is through tear-filled eyes that I write of this great hope of the Gospel. Union with Christ is the key. Only when seeing that they are children of God through the power of the cross will such beloved brothers and sisters experience a breaking of the back of inferiority and self-doubt. And it will be reflection on our common bloodline in that same Jesus - as true brothers, and true sisters - that will move us away from our own majority-conferring comfort toward such hurt and need.

Think of it. Many races, gathering together, in common community, through common bloodline, rejoicing, loving, learning, growing…together.

What a stunningly beautiful thought.

I pray it may be so now, as it will be some day…

And they sang a new song, saying,
     “Worthy are you to take the scroll
        and to open its seals,
     for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God
        from every tribe and language and people and nation,
    and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,
        and they shall reign on the earth.”

  Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice,

    “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain,
    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might
    and honor and glory and blessing!”

And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying,
    “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
    be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”

And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped. (Rev. 5:9ff, ESV)